The gathering of wisdom is often painful, I too stare longingly at the closed one-way doors of my life from time to time. I perceive the feeling of loss that you have connected to the choice to leave work as a detective.
Society convinces us that a life well lived is one with symbols and status, and we chase that. We conflate the impact and meaning of our lives with the vanity of external validation.
We either receive the validation and suffer with emptiness and a misaligned sense of self. Or we don’t receive the validation and suffer with feelings of inadequacy.
I hope that you’re able to reconnect with the meaning that you felt as a detective in some other form.
Thanks @Adam Freeman 🙏 I am looking for the thing that will enable me to reconnect with the meaning that I felt as a detective. I find it in writing. I find it in coaching and speaking. I think a major part of the journey for me is best characterized by something Steve Jobs said… “Make your dent in the universe.” I really yearn for that.
Detective work sounds like it could've been my cup of tea. For me, that one opportunity to go rogue and investigate a customer complaint last October led to me cracking the case. To the detriment of our director because that would mean her reputation would be in tatters (I'm taking the flak for that at present). The process of solving the puzzle was my quiet thrill, knowing that each 'lead' helped towards finishing the puzzle. I didn't have to go above and beyond, but it was most satisfying (whilst doing the daily grind). The euphoria of the eureka moment persisted for a few days after.
Dickens had it right. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. I miss it every day. But I also know you can’t go back, and I accept that. I am working through what to do with the nostalgia.
I see what you’re saying, but I also think you’re judging yourself too harshly. There’s nothing wrong with a little ambition (emphasis on little), and wanting to make a better living for you and your family.
It’s that discontentedness (I don’t think that’s a real word) that drives innovation and excellence. But there needs to be a balance. That’s the discovery of a lifetime, to be content. When we have a family depending on us, we sometimes need to put contentment on pause for a while. I’m making it sound horrible, but what I mean is that sometimes we have a responsibility to push ourselves to be more, for them.
I too left behind a profession that I loved. I found that I had to go through a type of mourning process. And grief will sometimes sneak up on you like a wave out of nowhere. Grief is just love, that you no longer have a place to give it/express anymore. Respect those experiences and memories. They are part of what made you who you are today.
The gathering of wisdom is often painful, I too stare longingly at the closed one-way doors of my life from time to time. I perceive the feeling of loss that you have connected to the choice to leave work as a detective.
Society convinces us that a life well lived is one with symbols and status, and we chase that. We conflate the impact and meaning of our lives with the vanity of external validation.
We either receive the validation and suffer with emptiness and a misaligned sense of self. Or we don’t receive the validation and suffer with feelings of inadequacy.
I hope that you’re able to reconnect with the meaning that you felt as a detective in some other form.
Thanks @Adam Freeman 🙏 I am looking for the thing that will enable me to reconnect with the meaning that I felt as a detective. I find it in writing. I find it in coaching and speaking. I think a major part of the journey for me is best characterized by something Steve Jobs said… “Make your dent in the universe.” I really yearn for that.
Great read! Thanks for sharing, Ari. Reminds me of the saying, which I think about alot, “wherever you go, there you are.”
Detective work sounds like it could've been my cup of tea. For me, that one opportunity to go rogue and investigate a customer complaint last October led to me cracking the case. To the detriment of our director because that would mean her reputation would be in tatters (I'm taking the flak for that at present). The process of solving the puzzle was my quiet thrill, knowing that each 'lead' helped towards finishing the puzzle. I didn't have to go above and beyond, but it was most satisfying (whilst doing the daily grind). The euphoria of the eureka moment persisted for a few days after.
Dickens had it right. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. I miss it every day. But I also know you can’t go back, and I accept that. I am working through what to do with the nostalgia.
I see what you’re saying, but I also think you’re judging yourself too harshly. There’s nothing wrong with a little ambition (emphasis on little), and wanting to make a better living for you and your family.
It’s that discontentedness (I don’t think that’s a real word) that drives innovation and excellence. But there needs to be a balance. That’s the discovery of a lifetime, to be content. When we have a family depending on us, we sometimes need to put contentment on pause for a while. I’m making it sound horrible, but what I mean is that sometimes we have a responsibility to push ourselves to be more, for them.
I too left behind a profession that I loved. I found that I had to go through a type of mourning process. And grief will sometimes sneak up on you like a wave out of nowhere. Grief is just love, that you no longer have a place to give it/express anymore. Respect those experiences and memories. They are part of what made you who you are today.